Author Archives: Kate Bradberry

Know Your Village

When a tornado hits a small town, it is always tragically beautiful seeing how the community comes together to support one another. It’s a clear reminder that it truly takes a village. This is so true for large scale disasters and for our own personal storms.

Sunday before President’s Day, I woke up from my 5 hour nap after my surgery to repair my ruptured fallopian tube due to a ectopic pregnancy. I rolled over and grabbed my cell phone and started texting. Luckily, we had the next day off due to the holiday. I first message my boss to let him know that I was going to take the rest of the week off. He immediately called and asked if I needed anything and to submit FMLA. I insisted on using PTO since FMLA is not paid but will look into the paperwork if I am gone more than a week. He checked in on me daily to make sure I was okay, not just as a boss but as a concerned friend. He reassured me work was covered and to rest and heal.

Next person I message was my daughter’s Girl Scout leader. I am the cookie mom and February was the middle of cookie booth season. I was signed up to run a booth the following weekend. I knew I had a week but wanted to let her know my situation. This is when I started to feel the swarm of support from my community.

The troop setup DoorDash and meal train for us. The hardest part was accepting the help. I didn’t want to be an inconvenience to anyone. I felt like I was already disrupting things. Sometimes it so so hard to work past the guilt but important to realize that people only want to help clear some of the stress for me.

Once I humbled myself, I felt relief. We were fed and checked in on daily. Bennie, my husband, was still away on his trip. I felt comfortable letting him continue his need vacation because people were reaching out, knowing we’re okay.

I messaged my friends as well. Far and near. I was surprised to see how many texts and calls I received. It still awes me knowing that people care about me and my wellbeing.

My village came out of the woodworks that week. So I encourage you if you’re in your storm or in the aftermath, to find and know your village. Your village doesn’t have to be only family or church. It can be the people you surround yourself with on a daily basis. Clubs, organizations, and friendships. That support is so vital to your healing, emotionally and physically.

Ectopic Pregnancy Woes

Two months ago, the Saturday after Valentine’s Day, I was home alone with the kids. Bennie, my husband, left for a ski trip that morning and planned to be gone for the week. I was a bit moodier than usual and when Ellie, our second grader, asked to go to a neighbor’s house I huffed and puffed because it was after 7pm. I finally gave in and walked her down to her friend’s house.

When I got back I flopped down on the couch and instantly was in pain. Christian, the pre-schooler, was watching TV unaware that I was curling up into a fetal position behind him. My first thoughts were I had a ruptured ovarian cyst. The pain was like a hot poker going through me. I compelled myself to go upstairs and take some Ibuprofen, which did nothing for the pain. I was forming my plan in my mind on how I’ll make it to the ER. My parents live with us but were out and about for the evening.

I got Christian to bed in record time (8:00pm) and told him that I may go see the doctor tonight. He sleepily said, “okay, Mama” and drifted off to sleep. Alright, one down, one to go. I texted our neighbors and asked that they bring Ellie home at 9pm. Once she got home we did bedtime and I laid with her, trying to hide my pain. I told her the same thing, that I’ll be going to see the doctor tonight.

Once asleep, I went downstairs and my parents were just settling in for the evening. I called my mom to the living, and when she came to me I whimpered “I need my mom.” She had heard this same tone before about 20 years prior when I had my appendicitis. This time, we at least knew it wasn’t the appendix. She immediately said she’ll drive me to the nearest ER and that I never complain about pain. Something had to be up.

On the way there, my mom asked if I was pregnant. I tried to laugh it off because I had an IUD in, but said anything’s possible since I’m happily married.

Once at the ER, things started to move a lot faster. I told the triage nurse that I was bleeding and unsure if it was my period since I had irregular menstrual cycles due to the IUD. I gave my theory that it was an ovarian cyst rupture due to the sensation that I had a hot rod poked through me. The nurse said she thought it sounded like a kidney stone, which I’ve never had. Again, I said anything’s possible. The ER doctor came in soon after the nurse left and said my urine sample came back positive for pregnancy. They soon got an IV in me to confirm my HCG levels and provide me with morphine to help with the pain.

It didn’t take long for the doctor to return with the results and to let me know that she’s put in an order for the ambulance to take me to the main hospital. She feared that with my symptoms that I was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy, which are more common with IUDs. Their location did not offer surgery or inpatient care. My mind switched focused to the kids. I asked my mom to stay with me until the ambulance arrived and then to be with Ellie and Christian. She said she’d get our neighbor to watch the kids so she can be with me for surgery and I told her I’ll let her know once they made plans.

Ambulance picked me up at 1am and zoomed me their sister hospital. I was so thankful the morphine had kicked in because it felt like the longest 45 minutes to get there. However, once at the hospital I felt so relieved. The hospital had a separate ER for pregnancy related issues and luckily it was as light night for them. The nurse, midwife, and doctor were top notch. They kept asking me if I was alone and if I needed anything let them know. Once the ultrasound technician came I knew the worse was happening. He was trying his best to whisper to the nurse who held my hand that I was hemorrhaging.

The midwife confirmed the ectopic pregnancy and said she wanted to let me know as soon as possible. I called Bennie and told him the plans, reassuring him I’ll be alright since my parents are helping with the kids.

I was prepped for the OR at 4am and was the only one there. It was so eerie while I waited for the anesthesiologist. They told me it’ll be quick to repair my tube but may need to take my ovary. Once again I was asked if I was alone. I could only be so thankful that we listened to my body and that I had family near by. I told my mom I’d let her know when the surgery was over so she could come get me.

I don’t remember much after the surgery except they said they were able to fix my tube and saved my ovary. I was being sent home and I could recover there. My mom picked me up at 7:30am, a beautiful sunny Sunday morning. Once home, I slept away my woes.